Hark

Uhm, yeah

Channel 4 is so laughable now... I just hate that stupid man in the blue blazer with curly hair stating these stupidily ironic things... LMAO... yeah ¬.¬

Utter shite includes:

"My spam filter's got it in for me. It keeps preventing me from winning the Nigerian lottery."

"How do you know what comparison site's the best?"

"My weather site has the wind direction." *does stupid prance*

"Search engine: answering life's big questions like... 'What else has he been in?'"

In other Channel 4 rubbishness:

"Have You Been Watching?" is the worst television show on right now. Ever. Basically this ugly man presents whose eyes are about two meters further back from his chin, moaning about... just about everything on television right now. Yes, yes, Big Brother is abysmal. But so is this completely hypocritical show.

Quoth:

"It was absolutely fucking shit."
"Oh, do you watch it?"
"Yes."
[Roar of (forced, probably) laughter.]

It is fundamentaly flawed! In order to laugh/moan/bitch/lampoon rubbish tv, you need to watch it first to know it's rubbish... But then you keep on watching it...? Stupid weird-faced man.

Do these come in orange?

He says, holding a two bunches of broccoli. Yes, I'm talking about the Dale Winton clip in Asda.

On another note, however, for my summer project I've decided to collate all the nasty, naff, nauseating, noisome and noxious clothes on ASOS and make it into a nice collage! Alexander McQueen is, by far, the worst offender. Also, the choice of model... Just no. Never has the devil been good looking. You'll have to wait till next time when I've made the collage and have a picture of his face.

Yesteryear I returned from Heather's abode. We all went to Aldi to buy lots of crap... Not as cheap as I expected! Still yet to enter a Lidl. Besides, some of the stuff was absolutely disgusting.

First off were the cheese corners—they were not corners; they were pyramids. And the cheese! What cheese was that? Amy ended up throwing hers out the window then I followed suit. I got further xD Heather brought up "Poppin Chicken" thereafter but I feared it was undercooked as it was a little gooey and... lukewarm. Next were the potatoes wedges (this was a four-course meal, after all): bland. Sorry! Even apple brown sauce never made them any better than their state of culinary limbo. Oh, what was next? Ah, rocket and mozzarella pizza. By Jove, it tasted like bacon. I kid you not. We ate half of it... I recommended we leave it in the oven forevermore; well like half an hour. Eventually the room filled with smoke (no smoke alarm?) then Heather went outside as we then realised she had asthma. Whoops.

As everyone was outside, we played tig; eventually succumbing to locking Xiang outside. Meanwhile, Amy, Hayley, Xiang (he managed to body slam the door) and I were sitting around the table in the kitchen, whilst Heather and Sammie were doing their business in the living room. I think we talked for a long, long time, before we finally had to make our own fun. Yes, making concoctions for each other to drink/eat made from three rank ingredients combined in the kitchen cupboards. I made Hayley a mincemeat-icing sugar-Robinson's OJ drink! Ew. XD

Amy made me one and someone else someone else... I can't help it! It's the retrograde amnesia, y'see? After making each other drinks, Sammie came in and gave us into trouble >.> *SIGH* for opening all the stuff in the kitchen (even though it was already open...). Oh well! It was time for me to go home now (and Xiang) as I do not like leaving my house unoccupied for fear of burglary from the heroin addicts several closes down. Scum of the earth! Some may take offense at that... It's their own fault for getting into that state. No one to blame but themselves. [Goes back to reading the Daily Mail.]

Aaaanyway, in other news I will finally be able to afford some spending money for Rome fairly quickly as I now work in Marks & Spencer!

How dare he

MJ is dead! How DARE he!

I wanted to go see him in concert! Outrageous. I'm still not over his death. I wish he was my dad... yes, that does seem a little odd... but I could just tell him to hit out with "Beat It" then I'd be happy. So yeah, he's been on WMP for aaages now.

We ordered a giant Tesco order online, totalling about £80... lol. Most of it was my fortnightly shop anyway to survive. So everyone was up, then Xiang starting moaning at the food i prepared for him for dinner. "I SHOULD HAVE HAD THE PASTA!!!!" How ungrateful!

Oh well, in the end we started singing "just beat it!" at him whilst pointing at the door. So then we all watched Masterchef... and thank god we did; otherwise we would have never have heard "BOOZY PRUNES" in a hilarious voice. Even this guy noticed too! Thank god.

I put them in this frisbee, then I throw them at the little children!

Goodness gracious! I just returned from my daily swim on my beautiful Fijian beach and realised I have not updated this since petrol was cheaper than a bottle of Grange... You would not believe the amount of people that are totally stalking me. Unbelievable.

I am distracted with my obsession of saving money, choosing my retirement village, just generally being a great friend to my friends (they love it!). My day sprawls from the moment my children manage to unlock my bedroom door and use me as a jumping castle to well after sun-down. I am so tired of my kids wanting me to give them attention and stuff. Can't they see I am blogging?

I absolutely, positively promise if one more person emails me to ask why I haven't posted today I will start posting pictures of toe fungus, or fecal murals. Well, I'll try. Don't hold your breath though, you're likely to turn blue...

Also this

Xiang says (01:08):
can I see your blog?
Excellent wretch! says (01:10):
you'll have to find it >.>
you've seen it before... i remember
Xiang says (01:10):
I lost the link ;_;
Excellent wretch! says (01:11):
you'll have to find it!
it's the amelia earhard of the blog world

Posh Hot Schnappsolate

I just finished drinking a hot chocolate and eating a croissant (I'm not French, honest) and watching The Reader. My mum already finished reading the book and I haven't started (still reading the other Kate Winslet book Little Children), but I think it'll be next on the reading list. I –still– have books from 2007 that I haven't read. I just read slowly!

Yesterday was the maths exam which, I am pleased to say, (I think) went rather well. [Salvador] Sally [Struthers] says Zai-Betch says he got 100%. Ponce... Arse.

Yesterday I was on the verge of a breakdown. This may be over-dram but I was convinced I had lost my art folder. Yeah, yeah, it's an art folder but it is a year's worth of work and the deadline for it is at the end of this month and I don't think I could make twenty A2 pages in a week! Even if it did happen, thank fully I always have some sort of (back up) plan.

The plan involved my friends coming up to my house, printing off pictures from the internet, cutting, blu-tac-ing it all down, drawing, feeding them, (hopefully not bathing them) and possibly a £5 cheque at the end! I would love to have run said sweatshop. ;_; Oh well, too bad for them and me that the art folder was in school. (However that meant I had to get up at 10 so I would get to school at 11, for fear that the school would close early at around half 12 due to the last exam finishing sometime around then.)

Most things were booked a week or so ago, but Xiang, Amy, Heather and I are all of to Rome at the end of the summer holidays! Something I am looking particularly forward to. The KLM (Ryanair – No ta) flights were £150 rtn but because Heather was unsure about attending in the first place, they increased slightly to £180 as time went on. However, me saving up my AIR MILES <3 over the past... three years... managed to get it at a fraction of the price >_> Don't tell them.

Quoth the Salvador Sally:

Excellent wretch! says (01:03):

oh dear, apparently ponce means male homosexual (HOMO-SEXUAL)

Xiang says (01:05):

... JE NE SUIS PAS UN PONCE!

Excellent wretch! says (01:06):

xD

Xiang says (01:06):

you were talking about amelia earhard. This is one theory:

"Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean."

Xiang says (01:07):

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in evolution

*earhart

Excellent wretch! says (01:07):

isnt he some rubbish actor?

lmao "amelia earhard" is going on my blog

Xiang says (01:08):

he's a martial artist that chainmai loves

*chainmail