How dare he

MJ is dead! How DARE he!

I wanted to go see him in concert! Outrageous. I'm still not over his death. I wish he was my dad... yes, that does seem a little odd... but I could just tell him to hit out with "Beat It" then I'd be happy. So yeah, he's been on WMP for aaages now.

We ordered a giant Tesco order online, totalling about £80... lol. Most of it was my fortnightly shop anyway to survive. So everyone was up, then Xiang starting moaning at the food i prepared for him for dinner. "I SHOULD HAVE HAD THE PASTA!!!!" How ungrateful!

Oh well, in the end we started singing "just beat it!" at him whilst pointing at the door. So then we all watched Masterchef... and thank god we did; otherwise we would have never have heard "BOOZY PRUNES" in a hilarious voice. Even this guy noticed too! Thank god.

I put them in this frisbee, then I throw them at the little children!

Goodness gracious! I just returned from my daily swim on my beautiful Fijian beach and realised I have not updated this since petrol was cheaper than a bottle of Grange... You would not believe the amount of people that are totally stalking me. Unbelievable.

I am distracted with my obsession of saving money, choosing my retirement village, just generally being a great friend to my friends (they love it!). My day sprawls from the moment my children manage to unlock my bedroom door and use me as a jumping castle to well after sun-down. I am so tired of my kids wanting me to give them attention and stuff. Can't they see I am blogging?

I absolutely, positively promise if one more person emails me to ask why I haven't posted today I will start posting pictures of toe fungus, or fecal murals. Well, I'll try. Don't hold your breath though, you're likely to turn blue...

Also this

Xiang says (01:08):
can I see your blog?
Excellent wretch! says (01:10):
you'll have to find it >.>
you've seen it before... i remember
Xiang says (01:10):
I lost the link ;_;
Excellent wretch! says (01:11):
you'll have to find it!
it's the amelia earhard of the blog world

Posh Hot Schnappsolate

I just finished drinking a hot chocolate and eating a croissant (I'm not French, honest) and watching The Reader. My mum already finished reading the book and I haven't started (still reading the other Kate Winslet book Little Children), but I think it'll be next on the reading list. I –still– have books from 2007 that I haven't read. I just read slowly!

Yesterday was the maths exam which, I am pleased to say, (I think) went rather well. [Salvador] Sally [Struthers] says Zai-Betch says he got 100%. Ponce... Arse.

Yesterday I was on the verge of a breakdown. This may be over-dram but I was convinced I had lost my art folder. Yeah, yeah, it's an art folder but it is a year's worth of work and the deadline for it is at the end of this month and I don't think I could make twenty A2 pages in a week! Even if it did happen, thank fully I always have some sort of (back up) plan.

The plan involved my friends coming up to my house, printing off pictures from the internet, cutting, blu-tac-ing it all down, drawing, feeding them, (hopefully not bathing them) and possibly a £5 cheque at the end! I would love to have run said sweatshop. ;_; Oh well, too bad for them and me that the art folder was in school. (However that meant I had to get up at 10 so I would get to school at 11, for fear that the school would close early at around half 12 due to the last exam finishing sometime around then.)

Most things were booked a week or so ago, but Xiang, Amy, Heather and I are all of to Rome at the end of the summer holidays! Something I am looking particularly forward to. The KLM (Ryanair – No ta) flights were £150 rtn but because Heather was unsure about attending in the first place, they increased slightly to £180 as time went on. However, me saving up my AIR MILES <3 over the past... three years... managed to get it at a fraction of the price >_> Don't tell them.

Quoth the Salvador Sally:

Excellent wretch! says (01:03):

oh dear, apparently ponce means male homosexual (HOMO-SEXUAL)

Xiang says (01:05):

... JE NE SUIS PAS UN PONCE!

Excellent wretch! says (01:06):

xD

Xiang says (01:06):

you were talking about amelia earhard. This is one theory:

"Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean."

Xiang says (01:07):

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in evolution

*earhart

Excellent wretch! says (01:07):

isnt he some rubbish actor?

lmao "amelia earhard" is going on my blog

Xiang says (01:08):

he's a martial artist that chainmai loves

*chainmail

Ninny

Oh for crying out loud! I just had a cup of tea and realised I have not updated this since they invented sliced bread... You would not believe that I actually have a life. Stupid global warming!

I am lost in a sea of pseudo-olde-english whilst setting fire to people wearing Crocs, soaking in the tub, just generally being a nuisance to various lawyers I met recently, and performing in English examinations. My day seems to be packed from the second I am woken by murderous Teletubbies to 11am at which point I fall asleep on the couch. I am totally exhausted and need to finish my art folder. I wish you could be here to share it. Honestly.

But really, it's just an honour to be nominated alongside so many other toothsome beans. I want to thank my agent, who stuck with me after I was found hollering at that bath plug—not Jacqui Smith's. I'd like to also thank my fuzzy family, and the golden globetrotter. I better stop now before I say something stupendous. Thank you, and holy moly.

PS: I solemnly swear I will update you with my nefarious activities as soon as I get a chance. Assuming I don't get distracted eating Pepperidge farm cookies, M&S cookies, Buchanan's Creams from Tesco or Quality Street.

I forgot to leave you with this Photoshop Disaster. Ciao!

No, tobacco is not one of your five-a-day

Well Amy and I went into town to find some ugly sweaters for Heatherina the Ballerina's Ugly Sweater Party. After a while in TK Maxx, Amy found, quite possibly, the most hideous and ugliest thing I'd ever seen to grace the earth. It's black with sky blue palm trees with lots of sequined jewels and bedazzler thingys.

I unfortunately had just a few candidates. There was pretty bad Ralph Lauren vest that weighed a tonne, but I think it was in the region of £50. There was another bad t-shirt that was red, white and blue and had the number 1 all over it... for some reason; that was also pretty dear, at £17. I mean, I'm only going to be wearing this once and I'd rather not pay that for it.

And so we grew hunger forevermore and travelled to Millies Cookies and Burger King (fatties), and continued on my quest for an ugly sweater. Blah blah blah, then Sainsbury's phoned Amy saying she was supposed to be working so she had to leave.

I had a look in Zara been never seen anything... well I did, but they were £50 shoes. *sigh* But I think Zara need to seriously address their size issues... not EVERYONE is an extra large, y'know?

Put that collar down; this isn’t 1999

I am glad my dissertation is close to completion. I just need to write some more stuff on word choice, even though I'm certain I briefly mentioned it. Nonetheless, I shall expand and hand it in on Monday, April 20^th.

Today was, as usual, exasperating. Dr. Gavin has something to say about everything and, when I was asked on my studying timetable and I said I study for less than an hour a day, and saying I was doing three Advanced Highers, had the most ridiculous and spasmodic episode I've seen in a long time. Thank god school is almost over. That class just sucks the life out of anything imaginable.

    Tomorrow will be... shite, at least in school. I have a free period, then a crappy thing in church for about an hour, during that time I will be alone as neither Heather nor Amy are coming in tomorrow. Hopefully I'll find Hayley or Xiang, assuming the latter is not humming of fish.
    Then there is double art, which is actually alright as I'm making a nice collage, so that could be the second-most highlight of tomorrow. On the other hand with art, it means lugging a gigantic folder home.

    Because of folder crappiness, I will go home and drop that and my bag off and my set into town with my aunt or something, as I need to buy a new shirt. Zara seems to come to mind as I've seem to be buying a lot from there recently, despite their quality and apparently "cheap" prices. But at least the stock is updated, like, twice a week apparently (eavesdropping on staff) and, unlike, H&M, you can go into school and not have 25 other people wearing the same clothes as you.

Anna Karenina, 2009

I'm sorry I've deserted you for so long, this blog outage (bloggage?), but I really can't be bothered with you. This is practically a ghost blog anyway.

I've discovered that there's an Anna Karenina blog post for reading in 2009. I am, of course, 88 days behind, and it is rather disappointing to realise that others have already finished! [Link] However, I am thirty odd pages into Crime and Punishment and it seems to be a little confusing... but perhaps it's just me. I will need to continue reading... surely there is a chart thing on the internet that can tell me how much to read each night so I can finish by a certain time. Actually, I have discovered this reading timeline so I am not behind! This is actually wonderful news and I am quite happy... Lord, this is sad.

Everyone in English is moaning about Antony and Cleopatra but if you would just appreciate how good it is, then I think you'd notice how magnificent it is. I still have to re-read it and but notes on it, and the nice people in Borders traded my A Streetcar Named Desire for Othello notes, the other Shakespearean play we have to study.

It is 00:50 and Xiang is forcing me to play spelling bee... I'm pretending I can't notice anything on the website; I shall finish this tomorrow, sans spelling bees.